Hoping for a Better 2012

Well another year is almost down in the books.  I can honestly say that 2011 was the worst year that I can ever remember experiencing.  It started with witnessing a man die right in front of me, to being blind sided by my previous employer, to having my hopes shot down time and time again with each job application that I filled out, to a major disappointment when I finally did find a job. If I had to count the number of times that I could not got out of bed or wished that I wouldn't wake up in the morning, I would have lost count a long time ago. Being strong and confident is alot harder that many would think.

The bright spot of my year would be realizing that I have great friends and family that helped pick me up off the ground so many times. I tried so strong to keep a smile on my face and not ask for anything, but those who knew me best could read between the lines and always seemed to know when I really needed help. I can't begin to list the amount of times that I had dinner bought for me or groceries brought over.  Not to mention help with my household bills and mortgage. It all humbled me.

My hope for 2012 is to find a job that is a good fit for me and can help me to financially get back on my feet.  I also have to put my anger from my previous job behind me once and for all.  Yes what they did to me was awful and so very wrong, but if I continue to dwell on it I will never move ahead. I need to just pray for the people that treated me so poorly and hope they will better themselves. I also want to give back to people in need the way people gave back to me.  I may not be able to financially help, but I will offer support and encouragement. Finally I want to be sure never to take anything for granted ever again.

Thank you for reading my blog this past year and Happy New Year!!


Amy

Week 23 of 26......Still No Progress

I can't believe that it's been 23 weeks since I lost my job.  I thought by now I would be comfortably settled into a new job with new work friends and responsibilities.  Unfortunately things just didn't work out the way that I would have thought. 100's of applications sent out and resumes mailed and I still am back to square one.

I have had a few bright spots in the road during this time.  I did receive 2 job offers that would have probably been great places to work.  Unfortunately my mortgage, student loans, and bills dictate what I can make and neither could get my through.  So back to the drawing board.  I also had a great casino lead that would have been a perfect fit me me.  Again it didn't pan out the way that I had hoped.

In the meantime I am hoping that with the recent economic crises the US is going through, I will not be unemployed forever. Although after 23 weeks my hopes are a little dim.

My Reflections

There have been so many life experiences that have made me the person that I am today. When I was just out of high school I thought that I would become a working woman from the get go and just forgo college.  In my mind, why spend money for schooling when I could easily land a minimum wage job and work my way up.

As the years went on and my yearly pay increases were only about $.25, I began to reconsider my methods.  About this time many of my high school friends were just about finished with college and now beginning their careers with salaries!!  They were making $20-$30k per year and I was still at about $6.00 and hour.  This was the first reality check that I needed to do something with my life.  The hopes of winning the power ball were about 1 in 3.5 million. I had no long lost rich uncle and if I did he might only have a cigar box collection or a stack of $2 bills to will me. Certainly not enough to live on. I also didn’t feel as though the Publishers Clearing House was going to come to my door with my winning check.  I knew that I had to make a change to make a life and future for myself.

A realistic options to improve myself and my income was to continue my education.  Now at this time I had been out of high school for a few years, so I was a little out of the loop. I had to also decide what I wanted to do once I got to school. I decided on a business major.  Unfortunately my business skills were not up to par.  I continued on with my general classes until I felt my calling-public relations and public speaking. I finished my college career and was now ready and prepared AGAIN for the working world.  Only this time I too could get a salary!!

Although I had schooling behind me, I still did not feel as though I had my life in order just yet.  I still had so much to learn. One of the most important lessons that I can stress is network and shadowing.  Having a successful internship actually let to my first “career”.  I learned that I had to take my skills and put  myself out there.  I had to have the confidence to know that I could do whatever I put my mind to.  It was a challenge, but one I needed to embark on. And considering that in all likelihood, my first job will probably have little to do with your last job, I had nothing to lose

As my career has progressed, I have moved on to new challenging jobs.  I have pushed myself to the limits and worked harder than I ever thought possible.  I feel as though I have succeeded and excelled at the things that I have accomplished.  It was never easy, but I knew that the outcome would be both beneficial to my career and to myself.  Every step just makes me stronger and ready for the next challenge.

At the end of the day, it is you who is responsible for finding your way into the world, which is as it should be.   Through the years I found that although I am still not at the end of me life goals-I am however getting closer.

Why I Love my Part-Time Job!!

Although I do not currently have a full time job, I have had my part-time job since March.  I work at Victoria's Secret and I love it!  It's nice to have a place to go to everyday.  It makes me feel like I am still connected to the work force and it helps to pay the bills.  And believe it or not, it is a rewarding job.

My typical shift usually involves working the fitting room.  My primary focus is to work with the customers to ensure they are wearing the correct bra size and the best fitting style for their needs.  On average I measure 10 busts per day and I see many more ta ta's over the course of my shift. My personal goal is to make sure that every single lady walks out of the store with their best fitting bra.  Again, it is very rewarding.

However some days I get pretty tata'd out! We have the customer that thinks they need to wear a smaller size in order to push the tata's together and create more cleavage. If you look at their shoulders, the strap marks are so imbedded that I wonder how they are not howling in pain.

Next we have the customer that only buys $9.99 discount store bras.  They come into the store to be measured.  I give them some bras to try in their size.  They LOVE them, but cringe at the price tag.  I try to explain that these bras last forever-  unlike the 6 washing that you will get out of that discount brand bra.

Finally we have the customer that complains about their fit BUT when I tell them what size they SHOULD be wearing, they yell at me and tell me that I am nuts.  There is no way in hell that they are a 38 or a D cup.  They insist they are a 34B and have been that size since college (17 years ago!!).  My reply to them is, you have to wear it not me.  I also remind them that nobody knows what size you wear.  They only know how it looks on you.  And nobody wants to see back boob!

I do love my job and I love my customers. And although some days are more trying than others, I can honestly say that I never leave without some crazy story to share.

Oh the Negativity!

Again it's been quite some time since my last post.  I let a negative comment get to me and it threw out my confidence.  However I was reminded that people can be idiots and to not let them spoil my mood or my writing.

It's been 15 weeks since I lost my job. I never in my wildest dreams thought that finding a job would be this hard.  I landed my part time job just days after I was let go.  I just assumed finding a full time job would be easy too.  I would just do some networking, send out a mass mail of resumes, and an opportunity would present itself.  Well that hasn't happened yet and the longer I am out of work, the harder it is to remain positive.

As everyone knows, I am a big fan of Judge Judy (I know, I know don't judge:). But even hearing her question her litigant's as to what they do for a living, then getting a grossly disgusted look on her face when they say they are unemployed- well it makes me feel like she is glaring my way too.

I know that I still have time to find a job that will be a good fit for me, but in the mean time I better not do anything that will land me on the Judge Judy show and get the stink eye from her!

Why are Part Time Job So Much More Fun than Full Time Jobs?

As most of you know, I have been working part time at Victoria's Secret since I was let go from my full time job. I only work about 15-20 hours at minimum wage, but it is such a fun stress free job. For the first time in quite a while I actually look forward to going to work. All of the girls that I work with seem to equally like their job too, so it makes for a work environment that is so refreshing.

In addition to liking my job, I also get some fun perks.  Free and discounted bras, underwear, and beauty products.  I had always loved Victoria's Secret merchandise, but was too cheap to but it.  Getting it free or next to free fits perfect with my current budget.  Feeling pretty on a penny is what I like to call it:)

I would say that the only downfall is that I don't make enough there to be able to make ends meet.  Even if they did have a full time position available at $7.50 an hour, my mortgage wouldn't get paid (but I would have nice bras and panties on when the bank came and foreclosed on me!!).

Three Months Unemployed= Ready to Pull my Hair Out!

Yes I am still alive and still unemployed.  It's been 3 months since I lost my job. (Ok those first 2 lines sound like I was going to confession at church!)

In the last month I have had many ups and downs. I have sent out several resumes, but have not heard anything back.  I have posted my resume on several job web sites, but the only bites I have gotten are from insurance companies-which aren't my cup of tea. And I have tried my hand at networking, but again nothing.  The frustration and anxiety seem to increase with each passing day. Twelve weeks of unemployment down and 14 weeks to go.  I hope I have something lined up by then!

Luckily I still have my part time job, which I love!  But I was reading an article online that stated- if you have a part time job while collecting unemployment, they will recalculate your gross pay to reflect what you make at your part time job instead of what you made at your full time job.  If this is true, I may be shooting myself in the foot down the road. Ahhhhhh the life of the unemployed,

Coupon Lady....Anything to Save some Money!!

Since I am now on a very limited budget, I have been thinking of ways that I can cuts costs.  After watching a show about "couponing" and seeing people actually making money shopping-I decided to give it a shot.

Last night I had my coupons in hand, the grocery/drugstore ads, a few very useful web sites, and a book about "couponing" that my sister loaned me.  I started out making my lists, dividing my coupons to reflect each store, and mapping the routes to each store (the route had to be the most direct so that I wasn't spending too much money driving around town).  I was ready to go!!

Today I made my rounds.  I started at CVS. I purchased (4) Colgate Toothpastes, Pretzel M and Ms, and a chocolate egg. Total price $6.02.  Less coupons and rewards....they paid me  72 cents to shop!

Next was Walgreen's.  I purchased (2) boxes of Quakers granola bars, (2) packs of Dentyne gun, (2) packs of M &M candies, (1) carton of marshmallow eggs, and (1) pack of lady products. Total price $13.47.  Less coupons and rewards $4.51.

Next was Rite Aid.  I purchased (2) Gillette Body Washes.  Total price was $5.98.  Less coupons and rewards the total price was $.99 for both.....just under $.50 a bottle!

Finally of to Tops.  I purchased (1) Jenny O 3 lb. turkey, (2) packs of  Purdue Chicken patties, (4) packs of rolls, (1) pack of Country Crock potatoes, (1) pack of Birds Eye frozen veggies, (1) box of stuffing, a 2 liter of 7-up, and (2) Tyson pot roasts.....total price $48.77.  Less coupons and rewards $23.75 plus 10 cents off my gas.

I have dinners for 5 days (plus a few days of leftovers), snacks for about 2 weeks, and toiletries for a few months.

Total money spent today...$28.53!

My New Wardrobe....Sweat Pants and Slippers

Well it's been several weeks since I lost my job.  I started off so motivated.  I landed a part-time job 4 days after I was "let go" from my job.  I started exercising.  I actually cooked dinner a few times a week.  I cleaned the house from top to bottom.  And I scoured the help wanted ads faithfully.  I was sure that my situation would be very temporary.

Now six weeks later I have gotten rather complacent.  I do get up early to feed and let the dog out.  I still go to the mall and walk a few times a week.  And I continue to vacuum daily so that Honey's fur doesn't take over the house.  But I have also made a few new best friends that have unleashed my laziness.

These new friends are Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown, and Judge Alex.  They convince me to sit on the couch for hours and hours watching how they perform their justice to middle America.  As not to miss one second of their shows, I have given up cooking and cleaning.  Instead I grab a box of cereal and just eat straight from the box.  If I drop any of the floor I then call the dog in to "clean up".

I still do manage to shower daily, but my new wardrobe is sweats.  I don't even don the jeans anymore.....sweats are fitting my ever expanding belly much better.  And my sweats don't even match.  Grey bottoms and a hot pink top.  Hot pink bottoms and a red top.  Leopard print bottoms and a yellow top.  Whatever is clean works for me, who do I have to impress anyway?  Certainly not a boss:(

So starting Monday I need to get back on the wagon and get back on the job search. I need to clean and I need to start eating healthy again.  It's bad enough that the casino made me feel insignificant but they are not going to get the pleasure of seeing me let myself go!  Here's to a productive Monday morning!!

What the Heck is a Chalk Line?

So now that I have a little more free time on my hands, it's time to work on all of those projects around the house. One of the biggest projects that I wanted to tackle was taking up the carpet in my family room.  The carpet is a cream colored barber that still smelt like the previous owners cat.  It also had a beautiful electric blue paint streak right by the doorway.  It was the only memory I had of the electric blue walls that blinded me every time that I came in the back door.  My dog also liked to claw at the carpet, which left it in tatters.

As soon as the carpet was taken up, it was time to chose new flooring. Since my dog loves digging in the backyard and tracks her muddy paws into the house,  it was decided that a tile or laminate floor would be best.  Next we had to look at price, since the budget is limited.  Also I was looking for something that would be easy to install. I am very much a girly girl and would hate to break a nail.

We decided on peel and stick tiles.  The price was right and according to the instructions on the box, it looked very easy to install.  On the day of installation I worked in the morning and planned to spend the evening finishing the floor.  As I am leaving the mall I get a phone call asking me to stop at Sears and get a chalk line.  A what??  A chalk line?? What the heck is a chalk line??

I then went to Sears and perused the hardware department.  I saw a label claiming to be a chalk line, but to me it looked like measuring tape.  There was no chalk to be seen!  I continued to look around and found a few other packages claiming to be chalk lines that also looked like a measuring tape thingy jingy. So I bought one.

I continue home, throw on my work clothes and get ready to install the tiles.  Just as I was about start laying the tiles in a corner, I was told that we needed to start from the center of the room, hence the reason that we needed a chalk line.  We measure the room, find the center, then I lay the line down on the floor and start to pat the string to get the chalk on the floor.  It's not working!  Why do I see no chalk?  Then I was told that I had to snap the string, wow that worked great!  I now see a nice straight chalk line.

From there we start to install the tile.  Things were going great until we worked our way our to the outer walls.  The tile are too big and need to be trimmed down. Not only do the have to be cut, they have to be lined up to the pattern!  Ok I can do this.....I will just cut a tile in half and it should fit. Umm no....it's still too big.  I will trim it down a little. Crap I trimmed it too much and now it's too short.  New tile......trim, trim again, trim a little more, yay it fits!  And this particular tile only took me 20 minutes to lay.  Only 32 more to go like this!

So it's now 2am and the floor is done.  It looks very good and I no longer smell the cat urine.  Please let the tile stay stuck to the floor.  I would hate to go throw this process all over again!

Step Away from the Levis

Having to now live on a limited income, I have really had to cut out all of my extra spending.  Going to buy a new shirt, jeans, or purse is no longer an option.  I now have to ask myself "Amy do you really need it?" I then get that little voice in my head that says "step away from the Levis".

Although not purchasing all of the super cute spring outfits really bothers me, I have to admit that when it comes to health and beauty items I tend to go crazy! I have this crazy obsession with make-up, shampoo, styling products, and even aspirin and seasonal allergy medication.

Not having a job makes my obsession worse.  Anytime I see anything on sale I have to buy 2 or 3.  I am afraid that one day I won't be able to purchase that cleansing cream and lipstick.  My complexion will fail and my lips will look naked.  This will be about the time that I get an interview and I won't be prepared to have that polished look. I also won't have my allergy pills so I will not only look bad, but I will be sneezing all over the interviewer!!

I may be dirt poor in the months to come, but my entire bathroom closet will be stocked  to make me look good and smell good til 2020!

Dae-What....Daewoo!

I own a 2001 Daewoo Lanos that I purchased brand new 10 years ago.  I had never bought a brand new car before and was excited over the 10 year 100,000 warranty that was offered.  Now if you have never heard of a Daewoo before, you aren't alone.  Unfortunately just after I purchased the car, the company went out of business.  I am guessing there may be about a dozen of these cars left in this area. Heck maybe I should just park it for the next 15 years, then it will be so rare a collector might offer me a nice chunk of change for my hunk of junk.

Now having a car that is 10 years old is risky, but having one that is so uncommon makes repairs pretty pricey if anything breaks down.  Every year I hold my breath when it is inspected because I know it will be expensive. Last year I spent $800 on it, then wondered if I should have just traded it in. This year I feared the same fate. Being unemployed, a $800 car repair dictates if I eat this month!

 Luckily this year some higher power decided to cut me a break.  After stressing all day, the inspection center called and let me know that the only thing the car needed was a $5 light bulb!!  I got an inspection, emissions test,  and an oil change for a final cost in the double digits...not the triple digits.

Not having a job makes simple things like a car inspection seem like life or death.  A bad car equals lots of money for repairs, but even worse it could leave me without transportation to go for interviews or even start a new job.

What I Want to be When I Grow Up

Last week the Parade Magazine posted an article highlighting what people earn.  As I was going through and looking at earnings from across the country, it made me think.....what exactly do I want to do when I grow up?

Obviously if I was looking at just salary, I would want to be the plastic surgeon in Las Vegas that earns $1 million a year.  I am sure being in Vegas he has quite an extensive client list containing dancers, performers, and snow bunnies who want to look 20 years younger.  However needles and blood isn't for me, so I must choose again.

How about a graphic artist, I do appreciate art.  But looking at the salary of $12,180-I don't think I could survive on that.  Next we have wine maker.  I do love to drink wine, so maybe I should learn to make it.  And considering that we live in a popular grape region I would be all set.  Unfortunately the pay is only $25,900.  I could live on this salary but it would be a very tight budget. In keeping with the beverage category, I could try a barista.  They make $17,500 and considering I don't like coffee, I wouldn't spend my paycheck at work.

Let's see what jobs are actually in the salary range that I would be comfortable in.  Furniture maker- $39,000.  Unfortunately I am a girly girl and would be afraid to break a nail.  Exterminator $66,000.  Too bad I hate bugs.  DeeJay $30,000- I love music but I am not a fan of smokey bars.

There were two jobs that did catch my eye in this article.  The first being a blogger (go figure).  The pay is only $10,000 but it would be a great part time gig.  The other was an obituary writer.  It would be a sad job indeed. but I do like to write and it pays $75,713.  Not too shabby.

With my recent unemployment I have been given the opportunity to really explore what it is I would like to do.  Once I do find that perfect opportunity life will definitely be more "richer"

Another Element of Unemployment....no Healthcare

One of the biggest struggles of losing my job is my health care coverage.  Ironically I was never one to go to the doctor, unless I was on my death bed.  I paid into my heath care plans for years and years and never used them. This past year however, I finally decided to address some issues that I have been hiding under the carpet all of these years.

I am not sure if it's old age, stress, or the fact that I haven't had a good nights sleep in about 7 years-but I have been having some severe memory issues.  I regularly pay my bills 2 or 3 times in one month- yes I mean double and triple paying because I forgot that I already paid them.  I have conversations with people and forget what we spoke of.  And would complete sales reports at work, turn them in, then do them all over again- forgetting that they were already submitted.

Now that I have begun to seek treatment for my problem, I have to stop testing mid-way because now I don't have medical insurance.  Considering the fact that I have sat on this problem for so long, I suck it up and go on Cobra at $309.71 per month!  However after submitting 2 months worth of these over-priced payments, I receive medical bills totaling $6000!!!

I call the insurance company directly, however they have my account listed as closed, I call the Cobra administrator, however she claims I need to call my previous employer, I call my previous employer who claims it is out of their hands.  But someone knew how to cash my checks.

Being unemployed is hard enough. Paying over-priced medical coverage is even worse.  However being unemployed AND paying over-priced medical coverage and still not having coverage...well that has put me over the edge today.

Rainy Days and Mondays Always Bring Me Down

It's yet another Monday.  It's been 3 weeks since I lost my job.  Although I have had both good days and bad days, Mondays tend to be rough.  I lose my job on a Monday. my basement floods on a Monday, I get a $5400 medical bill on a Monday, and my stalker likes to do drive-bys on Mondays.  It's only 9:00am today and I am already wondering what this Monday has in store for me.

Prior to everything hitting the fan in my life, I actually didn't mind Mondays. Although getting out of bed was always a chore, I was happy to start a new week and see what weekend shenanigans that I missed.

Here' to better "routine" Mondays!! To all my employed friends, I am sure you are shaking your head saying Monday's suck....but for someone that doesn't have a job to go to on Monday- It gives Mondays a new meaning.

Doggy Mama

I became a doggy mama in February.  During a visit to the Anna Shelter, she caught my eye.  She looked so sad and timid and I thought maybe I could make a difference in her life. She is a German Shepard/lab mix.  She is a beautiful tan color.

During the first few weeks she would either try to hide and just shut down and curl up in the corner.  It was heartbreaking.  In addition she didn't eat the first few days and trying to get her to drink something was virtually impossible.  I was at my wits end.

Over the last 2 weeks she has begun to open up.  She has done this by eating my carpet, my lazy boy chair, the wooden trim around my backdoor, my cupboards...well you get the idea.  I began to wonder if someone broke in in the middle of the night and switched out dogs!

I thought that maybe I wasn't spending enough quality time with her, so I have been doing my best to play with her and keep her occupied. The problem now is, she won't leave the back room so I have to go to her.  But I had to remove all of the furniture because she was eating it up.  So I sit on the floor.  When I decide to retreat to the front living room to give my back a rest, she will only go as far as the kitchen.  I try to get her to come into the living room to join me, but she won't budge.

However yesterday this all changed.  I spent the morning vacuuming the floor and the couch pillows, dusting, and shining up the hard wood floors. I did all of this while Honey was in the backyard doing her business.  As soon as I was all finished, I let her in.  She was all wet and covered in mud and did a bee line straight to the front room and introduced herself to a pillow that was in the couch, which she managed to take a bite out of before I caught her!!

How I love being a doggy mama!!

My Job, My Dog, My Lint Roller

Things are starting to look up.  I just got hired at Victoria's Secret.  As I mentioned in my previous post, this job is a great fit for me.  I love sales, working with customers, and I look thin in black-which is the required uniform for employees.  Each day I get up, get ready for work, and don my favorite black pants and sweater.  However I have forgotten that I now have a wonderful tan colored dog that sheds like crazy.

Just as I am all ready to walk out the door, she decides that she needs to jump on me to let me know that she needs to go outside and potty.  By the time I get her outside, back inside, and into her cage I am covered from head to toe in lovely tan fun.  Black clothes and fur and not good friends.

So I have decided to be-friend the little Scotch lint brush that I saw while waiting in line at Walmart.  Now I can have my dog and my job!

I've Become a Mall Walker

Judging from my increasing waistline, I have decided to start exercising.  The problem with that is two-fold.  First I am on a very limited budget.  Not having a regular income coming in, I hesitate to commit myself to a year long gym membership.  Although some memberships are only $10 per month, one month I might actually need that $10 to buy myself that case of ramen noodles!!

The next problem is, I will be motivated for about 2 weeks, then I will come up with every excuse not to go.  It's cold out, I'm tired, I have a TV show on, I need to stop and get gas in my car first, etc.  If I had a gym partner to join me, I might consider it.  But the problem with that is, I get bored about 1pm and that is the time I would like to go.  But everyone I know has a job and is working at 1pm!  If I wait until 5pm to join my partner, the gym would be too busy for my liking and that would be yet another excuse not to go.

So I have come up with a great solution to get a little exercise in.  Thanks to my sister, I have become an infamous mall walker!!  Am I one of the youngest ones there walking?  Why yes I am.  Do I have the most up to date sneakers?  Again, yes I do.  Can I keep up with the retireees when I am walking......well they all blow right past me.  But I still have cooler shoes!

Do you put your socks or pants on first?

Believe it or not I actually miss the routine of having a job.  I miss rolling out of bed at a specific time, going to the bathroom, brushing my teeth, taking a shower, drying my hair, putting my make-up on, getting dressed, and grabbing my can of Diet Coke and a Little Debbie snack cake as I run out the door.

I then get to work, crack open my Diet Coke, listen to my 25-40 voice mails, check my email, return about 1/2 of the voice mails, eat my Little Debbie snack cake, chat with my office mate to decide what time we are going to go to lunch, answer a few more emails, make a few more phone calls, check weather.com to see if there will be more snow, then go to lunch.  The rest of my day plays out pretty much the same.

Now that I don't have this routine, I feel lost.  As much as me and Mr Routine weren't always friends in the past, that routine is what held me together and kept me focused.  I miss it!

In the hopes of trying to establish a new routine, my current day consists of the following.  Get up at 8:30AM and take the dog out, let the dog play until 9:30AM, bring the dog back in and give her breakfast, lounge back in a bed for a while longer, throw sweats on and take the dog back out at 11:00AM, watch the People's Court, Judge Alex, Judge Pirro, channel surf and web search until 3:30PM, put dinner in the oven, watch Judge Judy, eat dinner, give the dog dinner, then hope some kind soul takes pity on me and asks me to meet them out...even if its only to walk around Wal-Mart.

Please for my mental well-being,.......bring the routine of a job my way!!

Let's Cover the Ta Ta's

Well its been a week, almost to the minute, that I became the Unemployed Career Woman.   Although this week has posed many ups and downs, I am confident that someway-somehow, I will always end up on my feet.

Although the ultimate goal is full-time employment, I do have bills to pay.  Using my resources, I was able to get a part time job at Victoria Secret.  Why Victoria Secret do you ask?  First I am not a big shopper for lingerie, so I won't spend my paycheck there (if I was working at a costume jewelry/purse/clothing store- I would still owe the store money at the end of the month!!).  Next I already own a lot of black clothes, so I am all set for work clothes.  Lastly I have always enjoyed the retail sector, so I plan to have fun at this job.

Yes I feel that I deserve a job in my field and I will keep my eye on the prize until I find it.  However I am also humbled by this situation and I appreciate any help or opportunity that I can get.

In the meantime, ladies come visit me and I will help cover the Ta Ta's!!

I got on the Scale Today

Apparently being unemployed increases your appetite (who knew?!?).  Spending the week eating Girl Scout cookies, potato chips, and licorice to make myself feel better (I kept telling myself how much I deserved them after the week I just had) wasn't one of my wiser ideas. Although I did snack at work, I justified it by taking the stairs. Ninety-two stairs up to my office. Ninety-two stairs going down to the casino. Ninety-two more stairs back to my office and...well you get the idea.  The only exercise I have been getting these days is walking from the kitchen to the couch.  Maybe an occasional flight or two of stairs if I am doing laundry, but then again I don't need to do much laundry because I don't have anyplace to go.

So I am thinking that I may need to motivate myself a little more in the days to come.  The permanent butt mark on my couch is screaming out at me to give it a little break. Maybe I will as soon as I finish eating my ice-cream....straight out of the carton of course.  And Mr Scale you win this round, but  I will get you next time.

Late Night Infomercials

Yesterday my wonderful dog decided to eat my remote control.  I can tell you that I was far from impressed.  So last night I was watching a show on a cable network and as soon as it was over there was an infomercial.  Because I was bundled up nice and cozy on the couch, I was too lazy to get up and switch the channel.  For one hour I was intrigued about how to buy and sell "notes" and make $6000 in 20 minutes.  For $39.95 I could be the proud owner of the 4-set DVD kit.  Hmmmm...sounds s little too good to be true.  Following this infomercial I was then interested in how I could look 10 years younger with this revolutionary youth serum.  That was only $39.99 a month if I sign up for automatic deductions for a year (or course that was in the fine print on the bottom of the screen). Before I turned in at 2:30am I watched one last skit about the healthiest dog food around.  Again that $39.99 price point jumped out...this time for a 25lb of dog food.

Is this the stuff I missed by going to bed at a reasonable time to get up for work? 

Answering those "Confidential" Ads

As I have been scouring the internet for possible jobs I am noticing more and more positions that are listed by "confidential" companies. Of course these are the positions that sound most appealing to me. However when they are advertising a sales/marketing job, is it REALLY a marketing job or is it for door to door magazine sales.  And when the ad states must have good interpersonal skills, is it a customer service job or is it "inter-personalizing" at a strip club doing a lap dance.  Then if you do find one that may be legit, you are now mailing your personal information and employment history to a PO Box.  Who knows who you are sending it to?  I am thinking it may explain the crazy phone, email, and snail mail offers that I am now receiving asking me to work from home IF I pay them $487 for their "At Home Start-up Kit".  Hmmmmm.

Reality Sets In

When they say time heals all wounds, I begin to wonder how much time I will I need to feel better.  Day 3 of unemployment was the roughest day yet.  I woke up once again with a big pit in my stomach.  I remember waking up in the mornings wishing that I didn't have to go to work.  I would wish I could sleep in and be lazy watching episodes of Tyra and Judge Judy all day.  Now I wake up early wishing I had a job to go to.

To make myself feel better, I decide to take a stroll around the mall to visit some old colleagues and to put feelers out for jobs.  As I passed my favorite shoe store, I decided to go in and take a look.  As soon as I started looking at the dress shoes it occurred to me.....I have no place to wear these shoes to.  This feeling of dread then engulfed me.

I then proceeded to meet some former co-workers. Although it was nice to see them, it only reminded me that I no longer work with them and soon I will completely be out of the loop of the workplace.  Again, the pit in my stomach rang out.

Once home I called it a night and went to bed, tears still rolling down my face.

PMS x 10....that's the Emotion for the Day

I feel like I have PMS x 10 today.  The emotions running through my head are interesting.  I am laughing and feeling better one moment, I am angry as hell the next minute, and then I am keeping Kleenex in business again the next. Again I had a restless night so I am sure the insomnia isn't helping things. I had the pleasure of dreaming of the individual who fired me.  Unfortunately he was dominating me in my dreams too. I was hoping that somewhere in my dream a handsome superhero would come in and fight for me, then whisk me away to his secret penthouse in the sky. However I guess that only happens in the movies.

So first order of business, its time to update my resume.  I guess it was pretty much updated since I had just worked on it a few months ago.  But there was one main change......I had to remove the word "present".  My last job did not contain that golden word.  My start date and end date both have...well a date. This was the big realization that I was officially unemployed and not "presently" working for an employer.  How would future employers take this?  Was she fired?  Did she quit? Was she laid off? Does she just not want to work?  Let's just say that I hope they read cover letters so that I have a chance to plead my case.

I then began the online search. I posted my resume on a few job sites with the hopes that my one little resume would stick out from the 100,000 that employers are exposed to.  I then browsed a few jobs. Hmmmm, truck driver, door to door sales, telemarketing, machinist, bus driver?  I am not feeling too hopeful at this point.  I keep reading....server/model, electrician, babysitting.  Still nothing is jumping out at me.  Just as I am feeling pretty frustrated I do the next best thing, I retreat to lunch with a friend. She offered to treat.

Day 1 of Being Unemployed

Since everything happened so quickly and so VERY unexpected I could do nothing but cry and lay in bed wondering how this happened.  I did manage to call family and friends and let them know what happened and ask them for their support.  I then did the only other thing that I could think of, I posted on my facebook page that I was eagerly in search of employment.  ANY employment! Luckily I did get a few good leads and support.  It took the sting off just a little bit.

I then wanted to go online and search for local jobs...again ANY jobs.  However my tear ducts had other ideas, and as I typed on my laptop the tears continued to flow so hard that I thought I might short something out.  I then curled back into the fetal position praying that the day would end and that when I would wake up and this nightmare would be over.  Unfortunately it also plagued my dreams and left me dealing with the situations that caused this sudden unemployment.

What Just Happened!?!

Well as I left off in my last post, I was heading back to my previous job at the casino in the sales department.  The funny part was, that although I was getting burnt out with this position and eventually left to try new things, I was so very happy to be back.  I quickly learned that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.  I was happy to be back and ready to face all of my former challenges.

On the night before my first day back, I treated myself to a trip to the salon for a overdue hair overhaul.  I then picked out a favorite outfit, and went to sleep early eager to start my day.  I arrived at work bright and early and proceeded to the HR department to get all of my necessary paperwork.  It was so nice to see familiar faces.  It was also nice to see my former co-workers, who were much more welcoming that the previous employer.

Over the next hour, many events took place that would leave my head spinning and leave me unemployed (with nothing on the back burner) for the first time in my professional working career.   I was terrified!

I See Dead People

As I mentioned in my last post, I had just stared a new job that wasn't really a good fit for me.

After week one of the new job I was feeling as though I made a huge mistake.  This was only confirmed when I saw a patient die right in front of me.  Up until this point my biggest fear in the world wasn't spiders or snakes, it wasn't even heights, it was seeing a dead person.  My biggest fear had come true and I was traumatized.  After the incident , I was kindly consoled by my co-workers.  I was told "you work in a nursing facility...what did you expect?"...as they walked away taking pleasure in my terror.  This only confirmed that I indeed had made a bad decision.

Because this incident happened on a Friday,I had the entire weekend to think about this patients (and mine) misfortune.  However I am not a quitter and deep down I felt as though I needed to face my fear,so on Monday I went back to complete week two of my new job.

Week three was not going much better. Instead of being out of the building doing sales calls, I was in the building reading charts and determining if patients had "bugs".   I was doing admission applications that were as many pages as my mortgage loan, all while I had no clue what I was doing. I had reached my max stress limit and was very displeased with my co-workers.  I was the black sheep of the facility, and everyone knew it. 


As luck would have it, just when I had reached this boiling point I get a text message from my previous employer asking if I was ready to come back yet.  I sent a text back saying "as a matter a fact I am".  From there I was immediately in touch with my former boss and within an hour I was rehired and ready to go.

Although going back to my old job was not the ideal scenario and my job security there was unknown.....it was a job and one that I was familiar with.  And the biggest bonus of all.....I DON'T see dead people.

Diary of an Unemployed Career Woman

I am creating this blog to track the progress of finding a job after unfortunate events left me unemployed for the first time in my life.  Since this is a completely new situation for me I thought I would track my progress, high points, and I assume low points in this search.  I hope that by blogging I will keep things in perspective and force myself to take responsibility of my future fate.

A little background information about myself.  I am a 30ish, career minded woman. Since graduation from college in 1999 I have been gainfully employed.  I was very fortunate to have been hired straight out of college.  I started my first job at a public transportation authority. The pay wasn't great, but coming from a girl who was only making $5.50 an hour, having a "salary" was wonderful.

After 6 years working for my first real employer, I ventured on to job #2.  Job 2 was a dream job.  I worked as the Marketing Director for a mall.  What woman doesn't was to spent 40 hours at a mall and get paid for it? The job was fun and exciting but the stress level was very high.  My employers expectations were unrealistic at times.  I would work night and day trying to make my facility the best it could be.  I wanted it to be the premier shopping destination in the tri-state area.  As hard as I worked the stress finally caught up with me and after 3 years I decided again to venture on.

Wanting to take a break from corporate life, I took a mindless job that paid terrible.  However I did love going to work each day.  After my brief hiatus I was ready to move back into corporate America.

The next job moved me from Pennsylvania to Texas.  Again I was the Director of Marketing and Business Development for a mall.  However this mall had many challenges.  The first being their location was in Midland, TX.  A town that's main industry was oil.  The town smelled of oil and who's motto was "There are no trees to block the view".  In addition there were many Spanish speaking residents, a language that I should have probably studied more when I was in college. Saying that I was out of my element would be an understatement.  So after a small stint, I ventured back to Pennsylvania.

Once I moved back home I started a temp job immediately.  I wanted to have a steady income and I figured a temp job would allow me to keep looking for a more suitable option.  A few months later I again landed a great job at a local casino. My primary job was to promote the casinos 3 dining outlets.  I worked endless days and night to coordinate banquets, events, and dinner meetings.  The hours were awful and the pay wasn't much better, however I was passionate about my job and my clients.  I excelled in providing the best dining experience in town. I took full responsibility for my guests from the date of booking until they paid their final bill.

Due to changes that the casino was going through, I wasn't confident that my position wouldn't be a casualty. So after a discussion with my supervisor, I decided to try a new venture.....and this is where my trouble began.